I used to attend the badger group in waukesha, the biggest aa cult in waukesha, once a year they fly their guru Clancy I. in to tell his story. The same one for the last 17 years or so… the same story over and over again… What has always been shocking to me is the rationalization of a death after a person has quit taking their meds under the so-called direction of their sponsor. … the new york office was contacted many times because of deaths over the years, but there have never been any consequences set upon them. They all scatter under the dictum, “aa is made up of individual members”. In AA, I have encountered countless people who are honestly spooky and cult-like in their behaviors. Many of them belong to a subset of AA that really creeps me the fuck out [that] is called The Pacific Group. I had the bad fortune also of getting mixed up in a UK offshoot of Clancy’s Pacific Group cult… I knew something was weird right off but they were the closest meetings to my house. So for your records, The Plymouth Group in Plymouth, UK, which expanded to the Vision For You and Road to Recovery groups in London are straight-up mind-control cults using standard mind-control tactics. Those guys definitely don’t have a clue as to what Easy Does It means! And here, in a MySpace blog,
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID;=137850505&blogID;=276903523
a former member of the “Pacific Group” on the West Coast states that the Pacific Group and the Midtown Group share a lot of the same characteristics. Especially notice the missionary attitude, the intention to move to other towns and start Pacific-style groups there. There is a group in Los Angeles that is very Cult-like. The group is called the Pacific Group. The leader Clancy is getting older now I don’t know if he is still @ it, but for years the women complained about his sexual misconduct and financial exploitation. He controlled members in all areas of their lives. He had people show up on Sat. and pick up trash in his yard. It was his way or no way. In 1997 I found a Clancy Imislund (California, Homeless Shelter dude) clone who took me under her wing and turned me into an AA robot. I spent almost 10 years polluting the minds of newcomers and having my own brain twisted into knots. I have seen the cult-like power demonstrated by figures such as “Clancy”. … I went to a UK convention last year (the first and last time) to hear this lunatic claim that the world’s doctors are wrong and he is right concerning BiPolar disorder. …Clancy and the Pacific Group in Los Angeles. The group started about 40 years ago and Clancy appointed himself the all-knowing guru. It has grown over the years into a very large cult. The women in the group complained about Clancy’s sexual exploitation for years. To my knowledge nothing was done about it. I returned to LA to live with my family in Brentwood, just down the street from the central meeting location of Clancy Imusland’s Pacific Group. Naturally, I went there, because of its proximity, …
I quickly got absorbed into the group’s meeting routine, sponsorship techniques (as a sponsee), sexist practices, elitist attitude, weekends at Clancy’s house, parties, dances, dinners on and on. It was my first introduction into the structured cult lifestyle. … I would place the Pacific Group of AA in a more advanced category of behavioral control and thought reform. You mention Pacific Group and one other. That is more than a group. It’s been a movement impacting AA everywhere. I think it’s very dangerous. Used to be part of the Pacific group in LA. … Not the AA way, but Clancy’s way. …poor Sarah fell victim to the “cult within a cult” movement started by Clancy Imislund from the Pacific Group… The crap these people taught about medication was reprehensible.
Category: 12 Step Horror Stories (Page 1 of 6)
Disclaimer: the “NA chatroom” is permanently closed. The chatroom has moved to neveraloneclub.org (re-opening this year) and it does NOT endorse, speak the language of, link to, or recommend “12-step” meetings, groups, or chat rooms.
These programs and their respective “world service organizations” have absolutely no accountability for AA / NA Horror Stories and they hide behind their “spiritual” dogma as if it came down from the Mount on two stone tablets and was the infallible and eternal word of “god” himself. These world service organizations (which ONLY concern themselves with selling 12-step literature) sweep these incidents under the rug and deny they even occur.
The 13th Step Documentary, free to watch on YouTube, features victims and survivors of those who have been predated upon financially, sexually, or even murdered in AA. We have no affiliation with leavingaa.com and only give editorial credit in situations where an article has been linked to or copied from their site.
For a directory of secular, non 12-step based recovery and support groups please visit the “Resources” section at https://www.neveraloneclub.org/resources – or visit leavingAA.com . “They’re not your only option.”
January 6, 2023
Ottawa child predator got law license despite guilty plea to child-sex assault
The Law Society of Ontario said at the time it recognized people can rehabilitate. J.D. Coon went on to specialize in child-protection law only to molest another child, this time a client.
Author of the article:
Published Jan 04, 2023 • 2 minute readJ.D. Coon, the disgraced Ottawa child-protection lawyer who went on to molest a six-year-old client, was granted a licence to practice even though the law society knew about his child-sex crimes history.
The Law Society of Ontario gave Coon a licence in 2006, even upon learning that he pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a 12-year-old girl in 1991. The judge at the time gave him a conditional discharge, which means he was spared a criminal record after 15 months of probation.
Beyond the child-sex crimes guilty plea, Coon also told the law society he had spent a lot of time and money “cruising red-light districts and hiring prostitutes.”
The law society gave him a licence just the same, saying a past finding of guilt doesn’t preclude someone from practicing law.
The law society said at the time it recognized people can rehabilitate and was mostly concerned with the “present.”
Coon went on to specialize in child-protection law only to molest another child, this time a client.
Coon, 58, was arrested last Thursday for breaches of probation — notably that he befriended folks at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings only to gain access to their children, according to police.
He remains in jail awaiting a bail hearing on charges that he breached conditions to stay clear of children.
Ottawa police say they fear there could be other alleged breaches and have asked for the public’s help.
The force released an updated photo of Coon on Wednesday to “ensure the public has a current description.” Coon looks significantly different than he did in police handout photos from a decade prior, with his hair longer and lighter.
Coon abruptly stopped practising law in late 2013 amid an Ottawa police child-sex investigation, fled the country and lived as a fugitive for five years.
Archive Link: https://archive.is/AJikA
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Yikes.
Leave me alone. There were a LOT of things I publicly and privately promised or swore I’d never do again.
Like drugs!
By The Associated Press
August 10, 2022 at 5:52 am EDT
EDGEWATER, Fla. — A man went into a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in Florida and fatally shot his ex-girlfriend and her friend before turning the gun on himself, police said Tuesday.
Quinton Hunter brandished the gun shortly after entering the Monday night meeting, Edgewater police Chief Joseph Mahoney said during a news conference Tuesday. About 20 other participants safely fled and called police, he said.
Erica Hoffman and Ian Greenfield were already dead when officers arrived, the chief said. At some point after the shooting, Hunter began recording a Facebook Live which showed him wearing goggles and breathing heavily.
“It appears from the timeline we have that he had already shot Mr. Greenfield and had fired several other shots before he went live,” the chief said. “But he didn’t make any comments, he didn’t communicate with us. Just heavy breathing. It was very strange.”
Officers sought to make contact with the suspect to negotiate before a SWAT team breached the building and found the gunman and the two others dead inside, the post said.
Hunter had a violent criminal history, the chief said. He also said investigators are still trying to figure out the relationship between Greenfield and Hoffman, and that Hunter may have been motivated by jealousy.
The meeting was held in the offices of Be The Bridge, a nonprofit organization that helps the homeless and others get a fresh start in life.
Archive: https://archive.is/XO3c0
July 18, 2022
A woman called police from the Lowes at 2180 Gunbarrel Road and said a man is continuing to make contact with her. She said she makes a report anytime the man contacts her. She said he called her and she did not pick up the phone. She said she did not wish to press charges and she could not provide officers with a date of birth for the man. She said she only knows him from an Alcoholics Anonymous group she use to go to
https://www.chattanoogan.com/2022/7/17/451783/Police-Blotter-Woman-Harassed-By-Man.aspx
Archive Link: https://archive.is/YygjO
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“Before Retterath’s 2016 conviction, he had served 11 years in federal prison for drug and gun crimes before discharge of his sentence in November 2013. A few months later, Sellers met Retterath at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.”
“According to court records, after a family friend accused Retterath of molestation, in 2015 Retterath was arrested on sexual abuse charges. Retterath was accused of performing multiple sexual acts without the family friend’s consent while acting as the family friend’s Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor.”
Read Full Story :
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Mitchell County man will not be receiving a new trial for an attempted murder plot inspired by the television series “Breaking Bad,” based on an Iowa Supreme Court ruling.
Earlier, an Iowa District Court order had granted Mark Bernard Retterath, 56, of Osage a new trial. However, according to the May 6 ruling, the state contended that the District Court erred in its decision because of it was unable to review mental health records of Aaron Sellers, one of two State witnesses, due to Sellers’ refusal to consent.
However, the state instructed the District Court to conduct an in-camera review of mental health records of the second witness, identification provided only as J.R.
According to court records, the two witnesses’ testimony was crucial in proving Retterath’s solicitation to commit murder charge.
Retterath was sentenced to up to 35 years in prison in October 2016 after a jury found him guilty of attempted murder, solicitation to commit murder and third-degree sex abuse in the plot that unraveled when people he tried to recruit to carry out the killing went to authorities.
Before Retterath’s 2016 conviction, he had served 11 years in federal prison for drug and gun crimes before discharge of his sentence in November 2013. A few months later, Sellers met Retterath at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
According to court records, after a family friend accused Retterath of molestation, in 2015 Retterath was arrested on sexual abuse charges. Retterath was accused of performing multiple sexual acts without the family friend’s consent while acting as the family friend’s Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor.
Retterath then asked Sellers to kill the alleged victim, according to Sellers’ testimony. While Sellers refused to commit the murder, he told Retterath he knew someone who might be willing to kill for Retterath.
Retterath turned to the second witness, another member of his Alcoholics Anonymous group, about killing the alleged victim to keep him from testifying. That was when Retterath and the second witness discussed mimicking an episode of the television series “Breaking Bad” involving ricin.
According to court records, after Retterath ordered castor beans to extract ricin, Sellers and the second witness called law enforcement authorities. Investigators found a printout that outlined how to extract ricin from castor beans and five examples of ricin-purification recipes while searching Retterath’s home. Authorities also found a jar of castor beans in his house and a baggie holding about 10 beans in the pocket of a pair of Retterath’s jeans.
But at trial, Retterath contended that both witnesses were unreliable due to mental health issues. The state agreed their history of psychiatric conditions could impact their testimony, a decision that allowed the District Court to conduct the in-camera reviews.
However, according to the state’s May 6 ruling, Sellers’ counseling records, which were presumed to be from his time in federal prison, were unavailable from controlling federal agencies, https://www.iowacourts.gov/courtcases/11396/embed/CourtAppealsOpinion
https://journalstar.com/news/state-and-regional/iowa-supreme-court-rejects-new-trial-in-osage-breaking-bad-murder-for-hire-plot/article_283855b7-edf1-51ef-842e-89c66912aba3.html
It’s been three years, and still no one has been charged in the murder of Donna Brown, who was found stabbed in August 2018 in a building commonly used for Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
While investigators think they’ve identified a likely suspect in the case, they just haven’t found enough evidence to warrant a conviction for Brown’s death.
Brown, 79, died at 4:30 p.m. Aug. 9, 2018, after she was stabbed Aug. 5 inside a building at the intersection of 33rd Street and Avenue P, police said.
At the time, police reached out to the public for help identifying the culprit.
About 18 months into the case, investigators had exhausted all their leads and interviewed everyone they could, Galveston detective Michelle Sollenberger said.
“It’s so sad because this case is one that I really feel like is solvable,” Sollenberger said. “We’re just missing that one piece.”
An AA attendee herself, Brown had been sober for 30 years and often led the women-only meeting, Sollenberger said.
While police have a suspect, they haven’t been able to compile enough evidence for the District Attorney’s Office to press charges, Sollenberger said.
It’s incredibly frustrating to Elizabeth Rogers, Brown’s niece.
“She was an amazing woman and what she did for that community was so amazing,” Rogers said.
Brown had volunteered to help people in the AA program, at a food pantry and mentoring young people, Rogers said. She’d moved to Galveston about six years before from West Palm Beach, Florida to start a new life, Rogers said.
On Aug. 5, Brown had arrived early to a 4 p.m. women-only Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, held at the 33rd Street building, Sollenberger said. Members told Sollenberger that Brown, who ran the 4 p.m. meeting, often arrived early to turn on the lights and make coffee.
Video images from a security camera about a block away shows Brown entering the building at 3:44 p.m. Six minutes later, at 3:50 p.m., a tall man leaves the building and only three minutes after that, at 3:53 p.m., people begin showing up for the 4 p.m. meeting, Sollenberger said.
Sollenberger thinks Brown probably told the man to leave before the women-only meeting began.
“Everyone said she would have really fussed at him for a man being there,” Sollenberger said.
Because it’s far away, the video isn’t clear, but Sollenberger believes no one besides the tall man was in the building with Brown because the camera shows both doors into the building, she said.
“We had one person go in and one person go out,” Sollenberger said. “There’s not a ghost in there that did this. It’s really frustrating to not have the physical evidence to back up what we see on the video.”
An AA member who’d picked up a backpack he left in the building about an hour and a half before Brown arrived also encountered the man and identified him from a photo, Sollenberger said.
And a neighbor’s porch camera captured a profile of the man, but didn’t take a front image of his face, he said.
But this case was particularly difficult because the building was open to the public, Sollenberger said.
“We had tons of DNA in the building because it belongs to the public,” Sollenberger said.
The local AA chapter also would leave the building open during the summer so people who didn’t have air conditioning could get out of the heat, Sollenberger said.
Brown was a retired Pan Am stewardess and traveled the world, Rogers said.
“My aunt was this beautiful woman, this class A woman,” Rogers said.
Brown was spending this chapter of her life giving back to people, she said.
“That’s who she was in that part of her life,” Rogers said.
The man who police believe killed Brown is in jail right now for an unrelated crime, Sollenberger said.
But Rogers worries about what will happen when he’s released, she said.
“If this is not solved and he is released, it’s going to be a danger for the community,” Rogers said. “I care about that community.”
The case isn’t active, but it’s not closed, Sollenberger said.
“Even though this case is technically classified as cold, any case with new evidence or new information can be reactivated,” Sollenberger said.
Sollenberger encouraged anyone who had additional information about Brown’s case to contact police.
Source: https://www.galvnews.com/specialsections/article_8a8fbbbc-b634-5bae-aa5e-8764e3cd4496.html
Archive: https://archive.is/M5mtR
“It’s not possible to compete with something that works 24/7 to make the world worse.
Sane people want to live life.
Insane people want to control life.”
I picked somebody up at an AA meeting, he was cute I guess but he’d be a lot cuter if he wasn’t on the shit.
I could tell he was still going through it, he wanted me to take him home with me and I was like sorry dude… we’re sitting in my home right now. I don’t have anywhere to go.
He asked me where I was going, and I told him.
I was going to go to Monterey to stand out on the coast and try to relax.
He asked if he could come with me.
Or could he come to [I don’t want to name my next destination.] ?
I asked him if he knew anyone there or what he’d do when he got there.
He had no idea.
I asked if he had clothes or belongings or anything. You want to go … just like that?
Nope.
I drove around and talked to him a little bit and we exchanged stories.
Then I saw his hands: They were bright red like a steamed lobster all the way down to his knuckles.
I said “shit dude this isn’t good you’re malnourished and dehydrated.”
You need to give yourself a break from the drugs, eat, hydrate, rest.
“I’m not saying you have to stop forever and ever and ever but you .. need a break.”
I don’t have facts to back me up but if your hands look like that you probably have some inflammation in your brain. And you’re not giving your heart any nutrients and you’re making it work that hard oh my god. I’m not going to tell someone that if they’re tweaking though.
I stopped and got him a pizza and some stuff to drink.
For a little while he grabbed my other phone and picked the music.
I liked his selection and taste.
And then ….
He grabbed a container of bug spray and leaned out the window and started wiping my car with it.
He started smearing it all over the inside of my windshield.
Okay, here we go.
“Uh please don’t do that on my side, I need to see the road.”
He started rubbing the bug spray all over his hands.
*pause*
“Hey… do you … put a lot of bug spray on your skin? I’m wondering if you’re poisoning yourself.”
No answer.
Oh fuck is he huffing BUG SPRAY?
Mentally, I latched on to this question about why his hands were so red and so dead looking. What is wrong with his health? What does this mean?
He grabbed the wheel and rocked it a little bit and I asked him to not do that either.
He asked me if he could drive.
I said absolutely fucking not.
(Okay we’re done here: I did a U-turn.)
Then he turned on my dome light and started staring into the back of my car.
Paranoia.
I turned on the master switch for all the interior lights.
He stared at me and said “you look old now.”
I sighed. I was drained at this point.
Fergie’s “Big Girls don’t Cry” came on the radio.
I said “you know Fergie was a tweaker right?”
“She was?”
I know a thing or two about MasterSketch Theater.
Tina talks a lot of shit.
She’s a bitch.
I read him an excerpt of this interview:
In the early Noughties, Fergie’s vice was crystal meth, an addiction she beat before finding fame with Black Eyed Peas.
“At my lowest point, I was [suffering from] chemically induced psychosis and dementia. I was hallucinating on a daily basis. It took a year after getting off that drug for the chemicals in my brain to settle so that I stopped seeing things. I’d just be sitting there, seeing a random bee or bunny.”
Her hallucinations became so severe that she thought the CIA, FBI and a SWAT team were tracking her. She eventually sought solace in a church, probably on some level, she thinks, because of her Catholic upbringing.
“They tried to kick me out, because I was moving down the aisles in this crazy way, as I thought there was an infrared camera in the church trying to check for my body. I bolted past the altar into a hallway and two people were chasing me.
“I remember thinking: ‘If I walk outside, and the SWAT team’s out there, I was right all along. But if they’re not out there, then it’s the drugs making me see things and I’m going to end up in an institution. And if it really is the drugs, I don’t want to live my life like this any more, anyway.’ I walked out of the church; obviously there was no SWAT team, it was just me in a parking lot. It was a freeing moment.”
“The drugs thing, it was a hell of a lot of fun… until it wasn’t. But you know what, I thank the day it happened to me. Because that’s my strength, my faith, my hope for something better.”
Not everyone would have turned themselves around, and then go on to become a super-successful singer. “It’s so incredible, I know. I think I must have guardian angels.”
We rode in silence for awhile.
He started arguing with … I don’t know what … about a “transfer” and how he’d been cloned and they were having sex with his body and fisting it right now.
He kept asking me about the “transfer” and I said I’m sorry but I don’t know what that means.
He asked me if I wanted to score drugs with him.
I pulled over and said okay I’ll take you back to where I picked you up but you’re going to stop this right now.
I started driving again, a little more apprehensive now.
He started punching the pizza box and yelling that he wanted to see my dick.
“Uh, that’s not happening.”
He punches the pizza box even harder, emphasizing every word with another punch:
“GET YOUR FUCKING DICK HARD FOR ME. RIGHT NOW.”
“Not happening and that’s definitely not how you get my dick hard.”
He repeated what he said and I said I’m going to treatment, I don’t care what you do but I’m not getting high.
He says “I just want to score some crystal.”
And I’m like ok cool you have choices about how to end or spend tonight, we’re going back to where I picked you up and you can do that.
Sad part is , out here in San Francisco or Los Angeles these guys will encounter someone in this condition and pump you full of even more drugs and fuck you — looking at you, Ed Buck.
He started rambling about how we’re going to get some stuff and a cheap seedy hotel and how he’s going to find three guys to fuck me.
“It’s just what you like, don’t fucking lie. You’re going to a do a shot!”
Fuck I am, not with my blown up and trashed ticker I’m not. There’s a reason I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about me or what I have to say anymore.
He says “great, thanks for making me fall out of love.”
Wat.
I was already about 0.2 seconds away from stopping the car and telling him to get out when he dumped the pizza all over me and started clawing at me and punching my window trying to break it.
“Let me the fuck out!!!”
“No problem.”
I came to a halt on the 101 and he couldn’t figure out how to unlock the door. He was kicking the door frantically and screaming and clawing at me like a feral cat and I was like “please just let me unlock the door for you that’s all I’m doing I’m not going to hurt you.”
He spit out the thing he’d been chewing on the whole time:
I got the door open and he darted off onto the 101 like a startled deer.
He’d upended pizza and soda all over my car.
I pulled off at the next exit and got on my knees to thank God I was safe, and to pray that dude doesn’t get hit by a car… or attack someone else… or get tazed or worse.
You see, I didn’t see the accident happen…
Okie dokie God, I just put in a good word for you all but a few hours ago and I said that your fingerprints are all over everything. Where are we going with this one?
You know what? Fuck yourself Rob, you’re SAFE, what more do you want?
I looked up from where I’d knelt down and I was kneeling in front of the sign for the hotel chain I usually stay at.
*mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, long pause*
I was done with my car and I was done with this trip.
[The vehicle, too. I took it over to my cousin’s and gave him the keys and title and told him I never wanted to see it again.]
I was told once that “insanity” is not “intoxicated behavior,” if you give Grandma enough crystal meth she’ll hop up in a sling and get gang banged or let you fist her and peek out the windows and take apart the lawnmower, too.
“Insanity” means “I want to use that shit even though it’s doing all of these horrible things to me.”
I was staring at that tonight.
This guy was in this condition and he was like “I want to score some crystal.”
That is the “insanity” we “come to believe” will be removed from us.
I want to live. I want to go watch the ocean from the coast in Monterey today.
2:25 PM <JFT_BOT> June 07, 2019
2:25 PM <JFT_BOT> Someone who believes in me
2:25 PM <JFT_BOT> Page 165
2:25 PM <JFT_BOT> Just for today, I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.
2:25 PM <JFT_BOT> Basic Text, p. 100
2:25 PM <JFT_BOT> Not all of us arrive in NA and automatically stay clean. But if we keep coming back, we find in Narcotics Anonymous the support we need for our recovery. Staying clean is easier when we have someone who believes in us even when we don’t believe in ourselves.Even the most frequent relapser in NA usually has one staunch supporter who is always there,
2:25 PM <JFT_BOT> no matter what. It is imperative that we find that one person or group of people who believes in us. When we ask them if we will ever get clean, they will always replay, Yes, you can and you will. Just keep coming back!We all need someone who believes in us, especially when we can’t believe in ourselves. When we relapse, we undermine our already s
2:25 PM <JFT_BOT> hattered self-confidence, sometimes so badly that we begin to feel utterly hopeless. At such times, we need the support of our loyal NA friends. They tell us that this can be our last relapse. They know from experience that if we keep coming to meetings,we will eventually get clean and stay clean.It’s hard for many of us to believe in ourselves. Bu
2:25 PM <JFT_BOT> t when someone loves us unconditionally, offering support no matter how many times we’ve relapsed, recovery in NA becomes a little more real for us.
2:25 PM <JFT_BOT> Just for Today: I will find someone who believes in me. I will believe in them.
2:27 PM <robert> And what if none of them believe in you or want to help you
2:28 PM <robert> What if they’re like don’t sponsor him
2:28 PM <robert> Stay away he’s crazy
2:28 PM <CleanBill> what if frogs could fly??
2:28 PM <CleanBill> if frogs could fly they be screwing all the birds
2:29 PM <robert> Must be nice being dumber than a cocker spaniel
2:29 PM <robert>
2:30 PM <Susie> hmm are you calling us retards ?
2:30 PM <robert> Just cleanbill
I had a dream we were going to build another website again for some reason.
And you were there,
And you were there,
And (you) were there.
Excitedly, we raced around town in a sedan from one member’s door to another to whisper the news and get them into the car.
I began to reload a Linux operating system on a system and I watched the dots flash across the screen ………………………………
………………………………
………………………………
………………………………
We hurried off to Ashlyn’s house.
She wasn’t home.
Well, we’d better not tell her now anyway,
She might not understand or support this.
(Okay, let’s go.)
There are already seven of us ready.
Isn’t that enough?
(Why yes, I reckon that it is.)
Is she on board?
(Uh-huh. She’s using a new nickname and pretending she’s new.)
Is he on board?
(Uh-huh. Him too.)
What about her?
(No. She’s already on another site.)
What’s her excuse? I’m on about five of them that I cycle through all day long.
Things were going so well, I turned to one of them and said “You’ve never been here to see a day one activation, have you?”
She got really quiet.
I went back upstairs to resume my work.
Two of the others came upstairs looking for me and they seemed quite alarmed.
(“Day one activation.”)
(Why did he say that?)
(How does he know what that is?)
“You need to go to the hospital right now.”
“Why?”
“Our movements have torn a hole through you.”
“What?”
“Go downstairs. Right Now. We’re not kidding, we called an ambulance and they’re on the way. You have to go.”
(I was confused but I agreed.)
I got to the bottom of the stairs and saw the flashing lights outside of the front door.
(I opened the door.)
“Is this him?”
(Hm, I don’t feel so good. I held on to my stomach.)
I noticed the trail of blood and I blacked out.
“He’s on a plane home to his parents. I caught him trying to steal from me and that was the last straw. He’s been blowing my phone up and telling me he loves me and that we’re going to get married. I replied and I asked him are you fucking crazy? And you know what his response was? YES.”
I shouldn’t have laughed so fucking hard.
He sounds fun though.
I blew up in my last session because we’ve taken four weeks to go over a chapter and it’s a non-TSF curriculum that the “facilitator” brought back to pithy NA platitudes and cliches about praying and turning it over to your higher power.
I was like “where does it say anything about that in this chapter?” and I asked her if she was actually qualified to conduct these sessions or if she was just a 12-step plant, because I can go hear this shit at NA for free.
In fact, I have been hearing this shit at NA for the last 10 years and here I am.
She emailed my therapist and said she thinks I’m loaded.
I snorted and said “See? I told you she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well the others are, clinicians and therapists and stuff. She’s a junkie spouting NA drivel.”
His eyes bugged out.
I was like, “y’all can have my piss, my hair, my blood, my breath, my fingernails, whatever.”
“No, that’s okay, I believe you.”
I told him exactly what I’d said in group.
“Oh, she didn’t say any of that in her e-mail.”
“Meh. She probably can’t spell platitudes.”
The speaker came up to the podium and announced that he’d relapsed on meth for one weekend and caught gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphillis, *and* HPV.
He received a raucous whistling and cheering standing ovation for that.
Only in Los Angeles.
This guy sat down next to me, grabbed a hold of my hand, and informed me that I’m his boyfriend now.
I shrugged and said “okay.”
He leaned in close to me and whispered “smoking crack is like getting hit by a bus!”
I burst out laughing.
Unfortunately, at that very moment, the speaker had just said that his uncle passed away.
It looked like I was laughing uncontrollably at that.
Oh well. No one likes me anyway.