right on time for another three year cycle, smoke blowing outta both ears, tank very nearly on empty , as always , I approach every damn thing in life with “im as ready as im ever gonna be.”

> MARCH 12, 2019

> I’m in my Sex and Cigarettes phase:

> That’s the one where all the men did her dirty and fucked around on her and the IRS is after her ass.

> She might be down but she aint out and she’ll turn it ’round.

I gotta do my uh, 2021 return still, so .. umm, “Trump who?” omg, the thing I admire the most about Madam Vice President Harris , is that she called the president a rapist on live national television!

Fuck, I’m doing this wrong.

I am still a writhing , pale ball of pain and all i do anymore is sleep… and sleep… and sleep… and sleep… god only fucking knows i need it.

i use the oxygen concentrator at night , im an tolerating that better than CPAP, its quieter, and it was really disappointing when id have to stop cuddling with daniel and put on the god damn hose and mask and turn my back to him. i still pull the canula off while im sleeping but i dont know many cpap hoses ive *ripped in half* during my sleep and i can barely cut those fucking with SCISSORS while im awake.

… ive had dates that werent a disaster, good bants, nice dudes , and inevitably , when it was time for cinderella to turn into a pumpkin , and id decline the invitation to spend the night or say its time for you to go… ”oh youre not into me!” … fucked if you do fucked if you dont, you want to scare off a date, be like ”oh well, half my left ventricle is dead and its time to turn on the machine.”

im out seven years of the prime of my life but ive got friends who have just, straight up dropped dead , and dont have the ”luxury” of being alone or in pain or having any memories or regrets anymore. and im not jealous … its just that they left us while the streets were safe and we all still loved each other no matter what.

its a foregone conclusion that id have fought over trump or tacky tweets and this shitshow of a blog or those goddamn vaccines by this point anyway.

Alejandro, bless his heart, “loves” trump and im like ”oh, in .. 2022? ouch.” and he called britney spears a bitch. I gasped and said “without britney there is no you and me.”

why . you mouthy little shit. we all have limits

so , leave me alone to my cobwebbed fannie , my chickens and my dog and my meals for one okay?

im not going to apologize to the group, ”its not easy to love someone who doesnt love you“ it ran its course , i am tapped the fuck out, compassion burnout is one of the kinder remaining feelings i have about the whole fucking fiasco, you held me back in every area of my life that matters to me

as far as the important stuff goes… you know, like your heart pumping and circulating oxygenated blood through your body and organs.. all your other problems can be dispensed with if you dont have that going for you … these mexican motherfuckers, bless them, have pulled one of the thorns out of my paw: