I had a dream I died last night.

It wasn’t anything wild like the other times.

I didn’t go into a hypnagogic state , or fear “the void” or astral projecting or “dying” or whatever for the first time ever.

I dreamt I was in a silver mist. Like a heavy fog, reaching out for a friends hand. I didn’t hear a word. I didn’t know I wasn’t alone. I couldn’t see anything around or in front of me. But I knew you were there and calmly fumbled in the fog to find your hand, and touch your fingers and “be with you again.”

When our fingertips touched, and we grabbed a hold of each others hands , he pulled me through very gently to the other side. 

I can’t remember who was or what he looked like, it was someone I feel like I always knew, and missed enough to give almost anything to touch our fingertips, hold his hand, and see him on the other side. I’ve always felt like I’m missing someone.

No weird .. purgatory stuff .. or shadowy forms .. or watchers in the hall.

None of it.

“All you have to do is believe I’m here, reach out, touch my fingers, and you will materialize into place.”

I knew this time I was on the “other side” , this in concept of a safe, just , new world of abundance and nobody afraid of anyone or anything anymore shared by the Chaldeans, Phoenicians, Phrygians, Persians, Indians, Chinese, and Mexicans … its what everyone refers to as “Eden” in almost every single culture in history.

I wrote of such a place in January… and I want to believe that deepest part of me that knows its there, or …. well, I hope it’s there. I get these bleak feelings that I’m no different than the dead dogs I come across by the highway all the time now and I can’t shake this image of that being how things really are “and that will be me.”

Death is nothing to fear.

Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia, your backpack and the load and the burden you’re carrying doesn’t matter anymore.

When the curtain comes down, the stage disappears.

As long as you’re still here, ask how you can be useful every day you remember to.

I don’t remember much, the most important thing was that I knew and I missed those fingertips I knew and missed that hand, I just wanted to “touch you” and once I did, fine, I’m going wherever you’re going or wherever you came from.

Someone asked me a question about one of my statements, and I don’t really remember what it was that they wanted me to clarify. It had something to do with heaven and hell.

I didn’t know how to answer other than to say “I don’t like threatening people with hell , to control their behavior or tell them ‘if you do this, you are damned’ and that it’s not for me to judge you or say that. 

I don’t even know if Hell is real, if it is, oooooooooo we in some big trouble…….

I think that “book of life ” exists , I don’t mean to presume that I’m in it and I am not about to crow to you that your name isn’t either. Thats all from the darkness to the left side of God and Christ. I have full confidence the one on the right witnessed everything knows your truth, and whether you’re the overcomers he said that he loved, maybe you’re flawed or did some stuff you’re not proud of , but maybe in your darkest hour you did something he loved and nobody even knew about.

“Ooooo, I’m telling Alex.”

“Ooo, I am a witch, I know how to cast a spell on you and ruin your life.”

It isn’t Zion until there’s a singularity of the past and the present and the future.

It’s not that “eden” or that place of eternal peace until everyone is free , everyone is safe, and they are cleansed of the traumas and the defense mechanisms and everything that used to feel like it helped protect them from being taken advantage of or victimized or hurt , or just hopeless for being who they are.

It is not over until it is over.