editorial note 4/26/2022 — after restoring a backup of this nonsense, i ended up with 1200 posts that I had yeet’ed already. i pretty much went “okay , if this one doesn’t say everything, then words have failed, search your drafts for their names and websites , delete whatever else is in “drafts” and refers to these stupid fucking creeps.”

I re-read one of my messages in a bottle, apparently to myself if there isn’t anybody else out there.. two years after the fact .. and it was the most bitter , angry, rancid, acidic thing I think ever read or wrote in my entire life …. and I could laugh my fucking ass off about it today , and I don’t know if anyone else wants , or needs, to hear about any of it.

Shortly thereafter , I took the remaining 300 or 400 drafts and deleted those as well, it’s no loss to fucking humanity and if you were interested in the topic(s) at hand, it appears some of you found or shared it or have an as-yet still live hotlink of a copy of it, before I “restored” it. Some day “they’ll” get their wish and be rid of Robbie and his “antics.”

“Oh no, I’ve said too much, and I haven’t said enough.”REM, Losing my Religion

Fun fact: I’m a living and breathing tape recorder , and the shit y’all have been up to, is noted somewhere far more relevant than my blog will ever be, where you cannot go.

Where Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg and their ilk cannot quietly erase it once I’m dispensed with.

Consciousness isn’t just electrical signals running through a hunk of meat.

You’re surrounded by your consciousness.

At the center of it all, everything that has happened and is true and real to me and true and real to you exists simultaneously without contradiction. It persists in background radiation and can be accessed.

The one who sits at the right hand of God in the Christ consciousness bears your burdens, knows your suffering, and walks along beside you through all of this. Literally, Heaven only knows what you have been through.

I figured out what happened, why some people have a problem with that, and I personally think it’s kind of neat.

“I liked this place,” but on the other hand it’s sure full of assholes who want to keep their boot on your throat and kick you while you’re down.

It’s like clockwork: Every time I’m close to being happy, accumulate some “clean” time, or say I have anything to look forward to, these people surface and threaten me with bodily harm or prison, or they DDOS me, or they start fighting and dragging me into it. They want to waste my time and energy with who said what and who doesn’t like who.

The 12 step shit is a losing game: even if you’re doing well it’s not good enough and they’re going to go out of their way to make sure you’re miserable, shunned, and stinging from their relentless disapproval, gossip, shit slinging, threats, predation, and personal attacks.

Where there is prey, thar be predators. And in some cases all the predators want is to feed off of your misery, especially if they play a role in creating or perpetuating it.

And then if you go out and relapse and die they just cluck and say “gee he took his will back from God,” or “he just didn’t surrender to this program” or “see, I warned you about that one.”

“Looks like the ‘disease’ won.”

“Oh I’m just so tired of attending funerals.” <—- victim mode activated.

Like the good little narcopathic shitheads they are they’ll sit there polishing their halo and denying they had everything to do with shunning, attacking, ostracizing, and bullying the empaths.

Narcissists and sociopaths would rather die than apologize or admit to doing anything wrong.

They’d rather YOU die.

If a victim speaks up publicly about their behavior they are to be silenced and threatened.

How DARE you write that?

“That’s DEFAMATORY.” <—- victim mode activated.

“I’ll have you ARRESTED.” <—- victim mode activated.

“He’s been HACKING ME.” <—- victim mode activated.

“I’m afraid he’ll RAPE me.” <—- victim mode activated.

“He’s just interfering with TRUE RECOVERY.” <— victim mode activated.

“I just wanted to make a safe place to chat about recovery and make friends!” <— victim mode activated.

I broke up with George, and “oh, he hit me , officer.” <— victim mode activated.

Kylon FRIED ME IN ALL CAPS and unfriended me and then went “gee I’m so worried about his mental health.” <— gaslighting narcissistic bully slinking back into victim mode.

In each and every case the narcopaths, shitheads, and bullies make themselves out to be “victims.”

And their prey are “criminals” and untouchables. Let them find their bottom. Let them find their way. Don’t associate with them. Don’t sponsor that one.

And if they die or go to jail that’s just HILARIOUS to them.

“He’s gonna be dead soon from drugs or aids.”

Yeah that’s your favorite jerkoff fantasy. I get it.


You were given your death sentence by these cultists the day you walked in the door.

Wake up.

I could do this all day.

You know why they reeeeaally HAAAAAAAAAAATE me?

Above ALL?

Because I took away their private messaging so they can’t gossip about each other, undermine the sites credibility, spam their own “better” chat rooms, or sexually predate on others.

Because I will ban the fuck out of them or demote them for using newcomers as a punching bag.

If you’re bright, idealistic, naive, and you look fuckable or shower them with adoration they might tolerate you for a little while.

If you’re “on to them,” then they’d rather you die or go to prison, than look inward and work on that shit through their beloved “12 steps” they claim to be working so much better than you can, have, or will. THEIR program and recovery are PERFECT.

They’d literally rather you die, than look inward.

They would rather see your words erased.

They would rather see YOU erased.

I just want to vomit when someone thanks Stan for his “service.”

And he’s like “HUGGgggGggZzzzzzz.”

🤢 🤮

Nice “program.”


Ohhh and here’s my FAVORITE denial anthem: “Well, golly, NA works for MEEEEEEEEEEEE. I don’t know what YOUR problem is.”


The orange papers forum and group are just as guilty of that shit.

You escape the cult and join one of Monica Richardson’s groups and make some new friends and then you irritate Monica or look at her funny — or god forbid you have your own platform, voice, or opinions that threaten her ego — and BAM you are shitlisted from those communities forever, too.

“Oh , just let that one find his bottom.”

Run like hell from anyone who gives you that advice, they’re one of them or they’re programmed by one of them. Wake the fuck up people, we DIE looking for our “bottom,” there are no ABC after school special moments in this game.

You have to be careful, your joyful nature irritates [their] sick spirits and [they] will do anything to crush you, break you, terrorize you, control you, SILENCE you, degrade and poison you or damage your DNA (hello, HIV) or keep you in your place: fearful and divided. Forever.

Slaves in chains.

Afraid to walk down a street at night.

Afraid of yourself.

Afraid of everybody else.

Living on this beautiful planet and having too many dark corners you dare not visit and enjoy.

Don’t let them do it. #walkaway