I’m going back to some of my dreams:
I had the first dream where my old cat from when I was a kid jumped off of a cliff and into the ocean water.
I took a couple tentative steps towards the water but the rock face was too steep for me to save her.
I watched her struggle, and she made it out.
She climbed up the face of the rock soaking wet.
She was a stray who had befriended and chosen me, and she was always tough like that.
I woke up crying.
I missed her.
I’m moving all of my stuff out of some little house surrounded by corn, and I’m all pissed off because once again, there are things I can’t fit in the truck or my car and I’m sick of losing stuff.
My housemates are in some … kind of trouble, they’re being raided. The cops are not interested in me. They see me driving off, they’re looking for someone else. But they have some huge wacky vehicle and I don’t know if its got an X Ray machine in it or what, but they’re seeing if anyone’s in the corn.
I’m traveling with someone now. He’s moody. I’m drawn to him. We don’t say much. And when we go to bed, he turns his back to me and sleeps five feet away from me on the bed in silence. I go oh, this must be my husband — who else would turn his back to you and go mope way over on the other side of the bed and ignore you like that?
But I have a cat now and she is my new best friend and she is REALLY good in the car.
I don’t even know what day it is half the time.
I said I’d come back to that whole thing with James …
I could almost swear I died a few times and that I was knitted together by some weird presence in the room with me.
I had never told a soul — not a single person — so why would he say the things he’d said?
In my second dream I was living in a giant house with floor to ceiling glass walls and a beautiful panoramic view of wheat fields, green landscapes as far as the eye could see.
I went around the perimeter, I was totally stoked.
I sat down at the counter next to someone and we both dozed off on our stools.
At some point I woke up, or so I thought.
A tooth had come out of its socket and broken into two pieces.
I held my hand and I looked at it.
I thought: In dream symbolism, this is something about dishonesty.
I wanted to know what time it was.
I grabbed what I thought was my iPhone and tried to click the home button.
It was a grounded wall tap and I was pressing it in the center.
(There are no iPhones here.)
(I knew I was dreaming.)
Well, what time is it?
There was a broken watch. Maybe it said …
I heard a voice tell me it was three-something.
Three thirty five?
(Does it matter?)
I looked at the person sleeping on my right.
I beamed the thought “I love you” at him.
He woke up and looked at me and smiled.
Now I know I’m dreaming.
What is this place? I like it.
And then there was a loose sliding door I was trying to fix for someone. Or talk about fixing, maybe. They’d used an oversized anchor and cracked the brick and I was debating how to repair it.
I slid it open and went outside.
Then I was outside standing on the top of an old rusty metal slide.
I told a young woman about the situation with the anchor.
She was helping kids down the slide.
I looked at a young boy taking his turn.
I knelt down and I cried.
I felt a hand on the back of my head stroking me and comforting me.
I woke up keening and crying and I wondered how long I had been doing that.