I put it out there that I’m sleeping in my car and trying to figure shit out, and I said I don’t want help because I’m tired of sexual motives.

And they go both ways.

Nacuntie was right, he was like, make sure they’re not just using you for sex.

I was cavalier about it, like fuck yeah I want to get naked and cuddle with this dude.

I know, I know… we’re all just there to get better and I don’t usually do the 13th stepping shit.

[edit: two years later I am comfortable rephrasing this , and saying “learn the difference between “love” and a “trauma bond” or live with the consequences.”]

Everyone wants to be loved or held, quit your bullshit.

That dude felt amazing in my arms and I loved watching him sleep.

He was like I’m going to ask my sponsor if I can keep you.

And then in the same breath he was like, I can do better than you and I just want sex.

Ouch. I got what I wanted and it’s not what I wanted.

Fuck, whatever dude, shut up and let me hold you until your prince arrives.

I’m cool, it’s Los Angeles, everyone wants some fucking quid pro quo.

And if you feel that that good in my arms, fuck, I don’t mind.

Maybe your prince did arrive and you were too stuck up to notice.

I’m not putting myself in a … ah, situation again.