I noted that this school has a 43 page handbook explaining where you may and may not park, and it itemizes all the dumb bullshit their glorified mall cops reserve the right to issue you a “citation” for.

I’m not even in the front door yet and I already hate this place.

I’m guessing the Student Handbook is a deuzy with a higher word count than Mein Kampf.

The first thing I noticed was a blood pressure monitor and a defibrillator.

Ok, I must be in the right place. This must be where all the middle aged failures end up.

Where the fuck is the bathroom?

This place is dumb.

Update: I found the bathrooms.

They only accommodate two genders.

I thought this was supposed to be a university in California, reeeeeee.