My first “bad trip” on drugs was at 13 years old during what was supposed to be a minor outpatient procedure to remove a PIC line for chemo from my chest.

They administered intravenous ketaset and then they were supposed to inject me with Valium to counteract the dissociative effects.

Ketaset is used in children up until age 13 or so. It is thought that children do not experience the dissociative effects of ketaset/ketamine.

They are mistaken.

We would later discover that some idiot used a needle in my PIC line, punctured it with the Valium slam, and all the Valium went out the side of my PIC and onto the floor.

So there I was, high as fuck on a ketamine slam floating above my body casually watching them work on me in a “K hole.”

It was fine until they figured out that there was a cuff of skin growth preventing them from pulling it out. They decided to make an incision in my chest, thinking I was sufficiently sedated.

Except that I wasn’t.

They started cutting into my chest.

At that my observer — mind you, I’m a child — switched from trusting the process to worrying:

Wait, something’s wrong. What are they doing?

I felt no pain but I saw blood and I lost it. My instinct to protect myself kicked in:

I fought through the drugs and started screaming and fighting them off of me.

They grabbed another syringe of Valium and that’s when they realized they had punctured the PIC line and not administered any Valium whatsoever.

My progress notes say that I’m apprehensive about receiving medical care.

Fuck, you would be too!

It would take 8 years for me to use Special K recreationally and go “this is what the hell I was on!”

I knew.

End of story.

I still had to confirm it:

I got copies of my medical records when I was 21… and yeah, sure as shit, “ketaset.”

Then and only then did this extremely bizarre perceptual experience make any sense whatsoever.

I had been left to parse and process that one all on my own for years.

I’d been rebuked for swearing like a sailor and inventing a few new curse words as I fought them off.

That was pretty much the only feedback I got from anyone about this experience.