I went to the beach on Sunday. I had no reaction to it whatsoever.
No peace, no calm, nothing washed over me. I left.
I worked for 29 straight days last month.
Nothing was going to un-knot me or wind down the kind of stress I’m under.
I had a stadium to myself again for a brief moment before the event came on.
I wanted to bail before doors open but my customer was like, “Hey you look stressed out. Why don’t you just hang out here and relax and watch the show?”
Nobody ever does that. I am not allowed to ask for access or favors but I am allowed to accept.
I shut my laptop down and I kicked it and watched the concert.
My last year or two flashed before my eyes for a second, just what all these eyes have taken in and where I’ve been from point A to where I was standing right at that second.
I have photographic and a good strong visual/spatial memory and if I really want to think about all the pictures for a second I am all but overwhelmed by visual information, landscapes, blinky flashy shit, highways and oceanfronts.
I thought about that picture perfect afternoon on Sunset Blvd when I headed home thinking it was “game over” …
[Narrator]: It was not, in fact, over.