I blew up in my last session because we’ve taken four weeks to go over a chapter and it’s a non-TSF curriculum that the “facilitator” brought back to pithy NA platitudes and cliches about praying and turning it over to your higher power.

I was like “where does it say anything about that in this chapter?” and I asked her if she was actually qualified to conduct these sessions or if she was just a 12-step plant, because I can go hear this shit at NA for free.

In fact, I have been hearing this shit at NA for the last 10 years and here I am.

She emailed my therapist and said she thinks I’m loaded.

I snorted and said “See? I told you she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well the others are, clinicians and therapists and stuff. She’s a junkie spouting NA drivel.”

His eyes bugged out.

I was like, “y’all can have my piss, my hair, my blood, my breath, my fingernails, whatever.”

“No, that’s okay, I believe you.”

I told him exactly what I’d said in group.

“Oh, she didn’t say any of that in her e-mail.”

“Meh. She probably can’t spell platitudes.”