“Well there’s one thing I won’t miss about America. All the obligatory holidays I’m forced to attend.”

(Josh): “There’s a loaded pistol in my backpack if you can’t take it anymore.”

“Uhhhh if it was my own family I’d probably take you up on that.”

(Josh): “By the way this an orgy house. Michelle’s dad is gay, he’s a bear and they had a 6-person shower custom built for orgies. Hopefully there aren’t any dildos laying around today, I don’t need my daughter seeing that.”

“Theyyyy wha-?” Good god, no wonder I don’t faze you or your wife.

They were nice people. Her father and his partner were apparently the kind of high strung bears who’d hyperventilate over a carelessly flicked cigarette ash landing in the wrong direction on the patio if you know what what I mean though.

The best thing about thanksgiving was their 5-year old daughter announcing that “Grandpa’s stuffing tastes like penises.”

“I’ll bet grandpa’s stuffing DOES taste like penises.”