I don’t trust anyone with my problems anymore.

“So how are you going to do a fourth or a fifth step?”

“Uh, a priest or a hobo or a hooker probably.”

“All excellent choices. It just says it has to be another person.”

“Exactly. I can rent a birthday clown or a mime to make angry faces at my resentments and scared faces at my fears, and I’d better get a damn good show during my sexual inventory!”